| my fear has come to pass |
[Thursday, June 9th, 2005 @ 12:33am] |
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so hey i have a livejournal. i havent tried this out in awhile. i guess if theres one thing id like to send into this space is that i miss you. all of you. in one way or another. even if i dont ever talk to you or cant find the courage/words/explanation doesnt mean i dont think about you. and that so melodramatic and shit but i think its true. i also think i was so afraid to update because i thought it would annoy people or something cuz i cant come up with anything remotely intresting to say. but yeah.. here i am trying to at least speak assuming the interesting would fall into place. tonight a man that i look up to very much named sal told me some really awesome wise shit. and i thank him so much for being there for me and giving me the faith he does all the time. i swear his presence is like a deity. he basically told me that you make what you love in life you dont just find it. it doesnt happen one day you have to build it and give a fuck. i kept thinking that it would all just fall into place that everyone i was suppose to be with would end up with me. but thats not true. i meet all these people all the time that just come and go and i miss them but i havent the courage to pursue anything else or to forgive or try to talk. i guess i just wish i could be a better listener and i feel so foolish for being so proud and so concealed. and i love you java. thank you daniella youre the badabang. rachel, i really miss you. jenna, your heart is bigger then anything ive seen. celine your smile is still so brillant to me. kate i loved talking with you. tracey, youre one of the best people i know. rlm, i miss your awesomness. daria, your still so beautiful. and the rest of you, i'm outta words. but yeah, lets talk.
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[Saturday, March 26th, 2005 @ 11:55pm] |
i just saw a play with paris hilton sitting two rows infront of me in which she was dissed.
only in la.
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| a new musical |
[Saturday, March 12th, 2005 @ 2:52am] |
she's a psycho
-somatic girlfriend.
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| girl talk |
[Wednesday, August 11th, 2004 @ 1:09am] |
really creative
fearless
loves to play jokes on people
love to talk
a terrific athlete
nothing frightens her
loves animals
has beautiful skin
incredibly caring
very sensitve to others
very confident
awesome sense of humor
kind of a tomboy
knows what she wants
fiesty
can have a temper
loves to write
secretly loves vegetables
hates the color pink
really creative
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| update |
[Tuesday, July 27th, 2004 @ 1:59am] |
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mood |
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 jubilant |
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music |
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drip drop |
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i'm at "what's her name's" house. i love my life. i'm laughing too much. i'm excited to hang out with jav and make art. i was moved at comic con by "humanity". but not like rachel cuz i didnt bawl at dinner for no apparent reason. lets all go paint it away in the studio.
she says "we have a lot of food. like veggie corn dogs, omg and blueberry waffels. do you want waffels? we can make waffels tomorrow. do you want a sandwhich. i want a sandwhich we have cheese."
i havent updated in awhile. "all the soldiers..." closed. i missed the cast party. which blew. grant called he said there was "lots of wine". damnit. but whatever. priorities. mmhm. speaking of which i have to go eat a sandwich. i'm blissfully happy. most of time. ani's concert was cancelled which bummed me out. her father died which made me sad. but i'm back in la in this spacious kitchen and that feels allright. it sure does. "im in love with the world through the eyes of girl who's still around the morning after" -elliot smith
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| you can skip this one. |
[Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004 @ 11:29am] |
rachel lives in laurel canyon. i've known rachel for quite a few years now. we go way back. rachel has an affinity for cats. which has always struck me since she has such cat like ways. they say cat's have nine lives. well, the following is 2 less than nine favorite faces of my favorite wannabe cat, rachel. the many faces of rachel. enjoy.
( flying kittens )
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[Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004 @ 5:30pm] |
I am nobody. I have nothing to do with explosions
Sylvia Plath, Tulips
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| hmmm |
[Monday, June 14th, 2004 @ 12:33am] |
| How to make a lesskelter |
Ingredients:
5 parts competetiveness
3 parts arrogance
3 parts beauty |
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add emotion to taste! Do not overindulge! |
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| pictures |
[Monday, June 7th, 2004 @ 2:01pm] |
i really don't expect anyone to care. i even almost made this a private entry.
but if you do wanna see some faces of all the new names as of late in my life.
here you go. they arent all there... but still.
( it's your funeral )
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| just waiting for maaah rocket, yall |
[Sunday, May 23rd, 2004 @ 1:51pm] |
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it's been a good week, i think. i've been super busy and pretty satisfied. of course there are those long drives on the 101 that are plagued with neuroses, but i get through. just turn that over played under written song a lil bit louder and my minds worries cease to exist. my lovely red phone that i got in the mail, that i fell in love with and wrote a thousand sonnets for has died. and now, once again, i am without a phone. of course, i have to go through sprint pcs insurance again. and they have to send every fucking thing by MAIL. bastards. with "convenient" sprint pcs locations around everywhere why can't i go and pick a phone up? i tried to get a solid answer out of the sprint pcs representative in woodland hills this morning, and well it was, either above her head or beyond her realm of concern. i might as well be talking to a voice service, but oh wait that may save some time and/or gas of mine, and WHY OH WHY would any company getting MY business want to do that? i'm pissed. i need my fucking phone. i don't need no shit about it. damn hos.
( so true. )
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| updation imitation concentration lava-lation umion |
[Saturday, May 15th, 2004 @ 4:54pm] |
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mood |
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bedazzlzed |
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music |
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zoomzoomzoom |
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i have 20 minutes to kill. so here i am, semagic and me.
i work in "urban theatre" now. i'm the only white person in the whole cast and crew, which is coo. the show is called "a woman's worth" and theres a scene between an angel named angelique and the devil. we load into the orpheum theater in downtown los angeles on the 31 of may. we open the second weekend of june. i'm having fun mostly. i also pray in a large circle before and after every rehearsal and had to stop cussing from 12-4 every weekday, which is more of a challenge then i'd like to admit. rachel's in town, and i had breakfast with her. it was lovely. last night, while i was driving luis and spike over the hill after "i've been lied to all my life" tracy and jo called to send their love and it was really wonderful of them. i'm sorry i had to be so short, but i felt like i was being rude and i couldnt really respond like i wanted to. so sorry. i had to make that call (short) ((hahah)) ...mmhm.. i can't see the hamilton show tonight like i've been planing to since i left that god forsaken theatre because i'm doing a show where no one can cover for me. it really sucks. i'm gonna try to get there after my show is out to see if i can catch any of the second act or at least say "wassup" to my techie boys. i hope youre all doing well, i know that you must be in or around the theatre right now due to sat mats. (i remember those days) cue cheesy music and visual of lesley drifting towards the sky in thought.....
when is sara coming home?when is danrae visiting la?
i really really wish i could see city of angels. i'm so fucking dissapointed. BRAhgjdgalakjHPUSujas;!!!!! why is everything sooo damn inconvient?(imustbepositive)atleastihavemycar.soicandrive.whatifihavetostopbythelaurelgrove?thenwhat?theresnopoint!yesthereis.damnitlesleycalmthefuckdownyoucrazyholifewillgooneandbythewaynoonecaresaboutyourfuckinginternaltermoilyoulazyassgetyourselfgoingyouregonnabelateit'sbeen20minutes T-R-A-C-Y
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| your time is your time |
[Monday, May 10th, 2004 @ 4:17pm] |
i stole this from dan rae. but i really liked what i got.
yeah, so thanks dan rae! bless your riot grrl soul.
So you aren't famous yet, but you know you will
be...you're Pre-Bikini Kill Kathleen Hanna
You write a 'zine with friend Tobi Vail called
Bikini Kill and have thoughts about starting a
band. You hang out with Kurt Cobain, and even
spraypaint that he smells like Teen Spirit on a
wall...inspiring the title for the now classic
song. Watch out suckah...you're about to
bitchslap everyone.
Which Kathleen Hanna Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| where i have been |
[Friday, April 30th, 2004 @ 4:41am] |
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so im in hell week of a wonderful show im designing the lights for
and i love it
but i have to be there at 9 in the morning to cue to cue with the set designer named gabe, whom i love. then i have another rehearsal at 3 till 6. i dont know how i'm gonna drive to coachella in a timley fashion. i can't. can jenna drive????
i can meet yall there. my phone has been dead all day cuz i slept at gabes last night since we got out 4am and had a pick up at 9.
i'm so bad at planning things. i have a one track mine, and right now it's on three productions. so it's really three. i'm stage managing, tding / lding, and assistant producing. i didnt even pick up my ticket from java yet. maaaaaan.. aaahhh. i'm not going to be able to be at the opening of my own show.
well i'm in heaven. except everything in life is timing. and my timing is off.
why does the most exciting social event in months have to coincide with my blooming professional launch off? choices choices
oh hey, and juan... he went to hami. he was a punk, friends with marika, keith, and wyatt. he cut his finger off with wyatt one night or something. anywho he's my electrican, and it's fucking crazy cuz hes 4 years older than me, but we get a long great. we must have laughed for 5 straight hours yesterday. and wow.. i have hookups at angstrom now too. i'm doing really well, and i'm learning and growing and impressing everyone, but mostly myself. i 'm having a lot of fun and getting paid really well for stuff i'm good at and love. damn, i hate happy entries. but there's a little stress right>?
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[Tuesday, April 13th, 2004 @ 4:07am] |
this shit is craazzy.
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[Friday, April 9th, 2004 @ 7:37pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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liberal radio |
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listen to air america for fuck's sake. you assholes. our country is going down the shitter, the least you can do is inform yourself and support the only mainstream liberal outlet.
stream it online @ www.airamericaradio.com, its 1580 am in la and 1190 am in ny.
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| to be of the noir |
[Thursday, April 8th, 2004 @ 11:12pm] |
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"you went through your stoner phase in high school and now barely touch the stuff. you enjoy sitting in on other people's smoke sessions, laughing at their inability to take a toke correctly. and lighting the cherry, for christ sake! silly beginningers. silly silly beginners"
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| youre not my oooowww-nooo |
[Wednesday, April 7th, 2004 @ 3:03pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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story of a ship |
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it's official: i'm sick. i'm drinking tea, sucking on cough drops that make my mouth raw, and craving chocolate so badly i could kill a kitten.
it's like the 4th time this year. why the fuck? where has my immune system gone? is it karma? perhaps i flush the toilet too often, and i'm drying out all the fishies. "if it's yellow, let it mellow"
i'm all light headed, i can't eat. can't sleep. all i can do is listen to music that makes me want to dance.... but oh wait, i can't breathe.
and here i am sitting in my fucking room, sweating to a tune, and i swear the walls are caving in.
dishes are piling up right and left and coffee mugs and multiplying due to my lethargy.
i had to go to a "meeting" today. but i didnt even stay to meet anyone. i was there at 2. the doors were locked. i felt like shit. i'll come back tomorrow.
but near this theatre is a fucking fabulous coffee and fudge shop. and i wallked in there today... with my cold ...to get some tea. and wow.. the smell of coffee and rich deep chocolate and cheesecakes and yummys everywhere. i became, figuratively, a kid in a candy store ...that happened to have the misfortune of diabetes. i got green tea, and i'm still drinking it. with the emblem of kelleys coffee and fudge factory still mocking me. damn the man. the man shall me damned. and with that, i shall retire to my bed -body ache and all. i hope everyone is having a pleasant april.
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| middle name ann |
[Saturday, March 20th, 2004 @ 7:18pm] |
bloopity bloop.
i'm in ny. the whole london trip is over which is unreal.
soon this ny thing will be over too and i'll have to start working and applying and stressing and blah blah blahing about shit. i guess it's about time which is unreal. mmhm.
jenna and jo are hitting it off behind my back, literally.
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lesskelter's journal